St. Joe's

I took a walk down to St. Joe's today which is one of the places we took Sophie in the winter. When she was mature enough to be under voice command we took her here to really peal out in the snow. She loved it. St. Joe's is a shelter for children and I believe, way back in the day, it was a hospital. Despite it being December 31, you can see there is no snow on the ground. In the top photo you can see how much room there was for Sophie to run around. In the bottom photo you can see St. Joe's in the top right hand side of the picture.

Sophie's Ashes

Dale and I picked up Sophie's ashes today. I was expecting to feel emotional when they handed me the ashes. Instead I got teary as soon as I walked in the vet's office.

Merry, Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Missing Sophie

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas

Remembering Walks with Sophie

We're experiencing unseasonably warm weather for December. It was a great day for walking and I took one of the old routes I'd take when walking Sophie. In her younger days she could walk farther so I would take her all the way down to Minnehaha Creek. The top photo shows where we would usually end up - 14th Avenue and Minnehaha Parkway. Sometime we'd take 10th Avenue down to the creek so on the return trip home I walked that way. The middle photo shows 10th Avenue. She also liked walking by the pine trees at McRae park which is shown in the bottom photo.

Happy Thanksgiving 2011

Thanksgiving 2009

Still missing you, Sophie.

Bottom photo taken Thanksgiving Day, 2009.

Boscoe

Went to Squire House Gardens today and spent some time with a dog named Boscoe. My friend Noel and I have been making twice-yearly jaunts to Squire House for at least a decade and Martin, the owner, is always gracious and glad to see us. Their two dogs have been out and about the shop and the grounds for as long as I can remember. Martin told me that one of the two dogs died recently and I had a chance to tell him about the loss of our beloved Sophie. I spent a little time with the surviving dog, Boscoe, who was out in the garage just off the outdoor grounds of the shop. He reminded me of a longer haired version of Sophie. In the above photo you can see Boscoe drinking in a little attention from me.

Happy Halloween

I remember all the years walking Sophie on Halloween amidst the trick-or-treaters.

Excerpts from 'Letter from a Dog' by Jon Katz

In his book Going Home, Jon Katz writes what he imagines might be some of a dog's parting words for us. I found what he wrote very touching. Here are some excerpts:

"It is my time to say goodbye. My legs are weakening, my sight failing, smells are faint. I am wearying. My spirit is fading, and I have been called home and away from you."

"Although I have been called away, I leave you with the memories of our life together."

"When you looked at me and the corners of your mouth turned up, you smelled and looked different. Lighter, happier. That was my life, my work. Nothing more clearly defined my purpose. When you smiled, I knew why I was here."

"I remember my heart jumping out of my chest when you came home and called my name, or grabbed a ball, or took me outside, or fed me. I hope you know that I loved all of those things - whatever you chose to bring me and give me, whatever time you spent with me, I loved."

"By now, you must know that there is always a goodbye hovering in the shadow of a dog. We are never here for long, or for long enough. We were never meant to share all of your life, only to mark its passages. We come and we go. We come when we are needed. We leave when it is time. Death is necessary. It defines life."

"I do not mourn or grieve, but I will miss standing beside you, bound together on our walk through life, even as I know that there is a long line of others waiting to take my place and stand with you."

"And finally, I ask these things of you: Remember me. Celebrate me. Grieve for me. And then, when you can, let me go, freely and in peace."

Going Home - Finding Peace When Pets Die by Jon Katz

Having Sophie euthanized about 5 months ago was a painful experience despite having mourned the loss of many other pets in my life. Although this book didn't shed new light for me on anything in regard to the pain of losing a pet, Going Home by Jon Katz was extremely comforting and helped with my healing. I read The New Work of Dogs, also by Jon Katz, a few years ago and found the author to be extremely knowledgeable and sensitive about the the deep connection that exists between humans and their pets.

Life with a Dog

Sophie's been gone almost 5 months now and although I'm realizing that life is a lot easier without a dog, it confirms that life is just better with a dog.

Colbie

Yesterday I spent a little time with my friend Mike's dog, Colbie. She's very sweet.

Still Missing You

Thunder and Jake

Recently I was up north with Mom visiting my Uncle Denny and I had the chance to meet his fairly new dog Jake. His female dog, Thunder, is about ten years old and Jake, a male, is two. Denny's wife Janet got Jake about two years ago thinking it would be nice for Thunder to have a companion. They are both yellow labs and are highly spirited. Jake especially reminds me of Sophie due to his exuberance. Thunder and Jake are quite excitable when you enter the house but calm down quite nicely. This also reminds me quite a bit of Sophie.

I slept in the basement while staying with Denny and Janet. Both Thunder and Jake joined me for the night. Thunder stayed on the floor and Jake joined me on the pull-out sofa bed. They are both incredibly sweet which, again, reminds me of Soph.

The top photo is Jake and the bottom photo is Thunder. Photos taken in July of 2011.

Sophie on the Porch

Sophie "Cartoonized"

Found a new photo editing website today that is a lot of fun. Here's Sophie on her porch. Original photo was taken in 2010.

Soph's Old Spot

Here's Sophie's favorite spot when out on the porch. She had a great view of anyone coming or going.

Sophie and Dad - I Miss Them Both

Found this picture in with some of Mom's photos. I'll guestimate that this was taken in about 2003 or 2004. I believe they are at the dog park down by the Mississippi River in Minneapolis. Sophie loved my Dad and Dad loved Sophie. He was always generous about giving his time to take care of her. He'd take her a couple of times a week in the afternoons and then Dale and I would pick her up in the early evening. Even after Dad died Sophie would still get excited whenever she saw a van that looked like his.

A Dog I Met on Vacation

I met this dog outside a gift shop while visiting Dale on Madeline Island. I loved petting her and she had a wonderful disposition. She made me realize how much I continue to miss Sophie.

The 4th of July

Sophie and Fireworks

Folks in the neigh-

borhood are setting off all kinds of fireworks. Sophie hated that! Dale and I would turn on the air conditioning even if it wasn't hot just to quiet things down for her. From this time up through the 4th it was next to impossible to even get her out of the house to pee.

Missing Sophie

The Power of the Dog

by Rudyard Kipling

There is sorrow enough in the natural way

From men and women to fill our day;

And when we are certain of sorrow in store,

Why do we always arrange for more?

Brothers and Sisters, I bid you beware

Of giving your heart to a dog to tear.

Buy a pup and your money will buy

Love unflinching that cannot lie -

Perfect passion and worship fed

By a kick in the ribs or a pat on the head.

Nevertheless it is hardly fair

To risk your heart for a dog to tear.

When the fourteen years which Nature permits

Are closing in asthma, or tumour, or fits,

And the vet's unspoken prescription runs

To lethal chambers or loaded guns,

Then you will find - it's your own affair -

But. . . you've given your heart to a dog to tear.

When the body that lived at your single will,

With its whimper of welcome, is stilled (how still!);

When the spirit that answered your every mood

Is gone - wherever it goes - for good,

You will discover how much you care,

And will give your heart to a dog to tear.

We've sorrow enough in the natural way,

When it comes to burying Christian clay.

Our loves are not given, but only lent,

At compound interest of cent per cent.

Though it is not always the case, I believe,

That the longer we've kept 'em, the more do we grieve:

For, when debts are payable, right or wrong,

A short-time loan is as bad as a long -

So why in - Heaven (before we are there)

Should we give our hearts to a dog to tear?

Reminders of Sophie

Dale's been going up to Madeline Island for 6 weeks during June and July since 2002. He's also rented the same apartment every year. I was just up there this past weekend. This picture hangs in the living room and I remember the first time I saw it in 2002 how much it looked like Sophie. The owners of the apartment, Mike and Dave, are big lab fans and have a yellow lab named Gracie.

A Card from Warren and Gary

A sympathy card came in the mail the other day from our friends Warren and Gary. It said:

"Dear friends, our hearts go out to you as you work through the sad feelings around the loss of your beloved Sophie. We will have memories of her happily walking past our house, tail wagging and her sweet smiling face. We know the pain you're facing and share our sympathy and healing thoughts."

Above is the portrait Tucker by Rebecca Collins.

The Comforter

The Comforter

by Anonymous

The world had all gone wrong that day

And tired and in despair,

Discouraged with the ways of life,

I sank into my chair.

A soft caress fell on my cheek,

My hands were thrust apart.

And two big sympathizing eyes

Gazed down into my heart.

I had a friend; what cared I now

For fifty worlds? I knew

One heart was anxious when I grieved -

My dog's heart, loyal, true.

"God bless him," breathed I soft and low,

And hugged him close and tight.

One lingering lick upon my ear

And we were happy - quite.

Tom's Card

Dale's boss Tom sent the above card. I love the quote at the bottom.

Until one has loved an animal,

a part of one's soul

remains unawakened.

-Anatole France

Sympathy

My friend Noel sent the card pictured above. She wrote the following note:

"Dearest Joe & Dale, My deepest sympathy for the loss of your beloved Sophie. I know your hearts are hurting in having to have said goodbye to your girl who you rescued on that snowy evening so long ago. Love and Peace, Noel"

Thoreau

Every blade in the field-

Every leaf in the forest-

Lays down its life in its season,

As beautifully as it was taken up.

-Henry David Thoreau

With Sympathy

Recently our veteranary clinic sent the card pictured above. It was signed by all the staff and included this note from Dr. Schuld:

"Joe and Dale, I know it's been a few days now and I am sure your house seems very empty and quiet. Sophie wasn't just another dog and you weren't just any dog caretakers. I'd like to think you all found each other for a reason. We will all miss this very special friend and know we are all better for having known her. You are in our thoughts."

Photo of Sophie

Went down to visit Sam, Becky and the boys in Leavenworth this past Memorial Day weekend and of course brought the camera down to take some pictures. Found this photo of Sophie on the camera and was surprised I hadn't downloaded it. I remember taking it shortly before she died. I like thinking of her content on the kitchen floor as Dale and I made dinner.

Sophie's Illness - Part 3

From Dale's email:

"The prognosis was not good - no matter what treatment we would have chosen, it would have been difficult on her and probably would not have extended her life more than a few weeks to a few months. We love that dog more than I can say, but we also know she has trusted us to make good choices for her wellbeing throughout her life, and we had to make the right choice here. Extending her life would have been for us, not for her."

Sophie's Illness - Part 2

More from Dale's email:

"Sometime in April, she began having some trouble with one of her legs and thought we'd better take her to the vet to see if there was anything we could do. We were again surprised to see she had gained another 2 pounds. The vet put her on a short course of Tamadol to help with the pain in her leg (which did go away for awhile) and she seemed more her old self again. A couple of weeks ago, I took a short trip to Madeline Island and when I returned, I just noticed how heavy she was. We scheduled an appointment for the next day and she had ballooned to 68 pounds. At this point, the vet did some tests (urinalysis, blood) to try to understand what was happening, but speculated that it was some sort of liver disease. Somehow, her system wasn't able to push the water through the liver so it "leaked" out into her gut. The resulting water retention was the culprit for the wight gain. He did an abdominal tap and took off 1/2 gallon of fluid. She was much more comfortable, but clearly not well. We scheduled her this past Monday for an ultrasound and possible liver biopsy to get a clearer picture of what was going on. The ultrasound showed quite clearly that she has cirrhosis of the liver, probably caused by the 8 years of phenobarbitol she has been on to control her seizures. The liver was small and dense and three doctors confirmed that it likely was cirrhosis."

Above art is Black Lab and Moon by Angie Store

Sophie's Illness - Part 1

The following is from an email that Dale sent to his mom and cousin to inform them of what was happening with Sophie just before she died.

"...we began to notice about 6 weeks ago that Sophie was having more and more trouble with her back legs. She had had surgery 3-4 years ago on her right knee after she blew out her ACL. By the time she was mostly recovered from that, the ACL in her left knee began to tear. We decided against surgery again because the first surgery and subsequent physical therapy were so difficult on her (and us). We opted to manage the knee with Rimadyl/carprofen. It worked like a charm and she had several good years without much trouble in her legs. She even made it through this past winter in good shape, which is amazing considering the amount of snow and ice we had. She was constantly climbing snowdrifts and sliding on the ice. What probably made this work out so well is that we were able to keep her very lean (55 lbs.) When I took her in for her phusical in March, she had somehow managed to gain 5 pounds. We were really surprised because we're so careful, but figured it was her metabolism slowing (she is 11 1/2 years old), and we began to feed her a little less food."

Goodbye, Sweet Friend

Sophie

November 1999 - May 19, 2011

Better People

Today Dale said that Sophie made us better people. I completely agree.    Photo June 2010

Taking in the Sun

Sophie
2009

A Room with a View

Black Labs in Art - 6

Painting by artist Amy Reges

Sophie is having a bit of trouble with her legs this evening. She seems to have already gained a bit of water weight back again. Tomorrow Dale will take her in for an ultrasound and Dr. Schuld will determine if he thinks the lump he found last time needs a biopsy.

Water Weight

Sophie made a visit to the vet today. She was due for a shot and while there Dale had Dr. Schuld check out her distended belly. It turns out she was carrying about six pounds of water weight. They drained what they could get to which turned out to be about four pounds. With that gone Dr. Schuld was able to feel what's going on in her belly a bit more easily. He's concerned about her liver which is probably what was behind the water weight. They're going to do an ultrasound and a possibly a biopsy depending on what they find. In the above photo she's enjoying the gorgeous weather this evening.

Feeling Better

Sophie seems to be feeling a little better. She ate all her food tonight and had a nice, albeit short, walk. The past couple of days have given us some very pleasant weather so she was able to be out in the yard with me this afternoon while I did some yardwork.

Aches and Pains

Sophie's back to having some trouble with her legs. It has not been easy for her to climb up on the bed or her chairs. Also, her belly is back to being somewhat distended. I gave her an antacid pill with dinner last night.

Black Labs in Art - 5

Maxi

Portrait by Rebecca Collins